Studio Work / Him

Studio Work—Him (Art by Rhonda.H.Y.Mason)
Studio Work—Him (Art by Rhonda.H.Y.Mason)
Studio Work—Him (Art by Rhonda.H.Y.Mason)

When we moved into our new home this year, I made this painting in memory of Cameron.

It is inspired by the Chinese character 他. which means ‘him’.

When I first finished the painting, I thought that I had left too much negative space.

But as I looked more closely, I realised that I could see two women within the picture.

On the left, I saw a woman pregnant.

On the right, I saw a mother grieving and—empty.

And just like that, the negative space made sense.

Yes, this is him.


Last year, two days before Cameron’s eleventh anniversary, I told Rick that I wanted him to re-read Life Without Cameron with me in the lead up to Cameron's anniversary.

The next night, when I came out of the shower, I saw him snuggled under the covers. In bed. Reading Cameron’s book.

Because this is what my husband does.

He listens.

And he loves.

Yes, this is him.


The next day, I attended a funeral at our church. As our minister spoke from Psalm 23, I started to weep. And as he spoke the words of the committal, my sobbing became uncontrollable. But despite my tears and my emotions, the message I heard was clear. Even in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. Because Jesus defeated death and sin and evil, and in him, there is the hope and certainty of eternal life and glory.

‘I am the way, the truth, and the life.’

Yes, this is Him.


A month ago, Cameron’s twelfth anniversary came to pass.

It is now twelve years since he died.

Twelve years of being apart from our son.

Our firstborn son.

Our precious, firstborn son.

The one who made us into a family.

The one who has gone ahead of us to glory.

Yes, this is him.


You can read the other posts in this series here.