What do I see?

In recognition of International Bereaved Mother’s Day on May 5 and Mother’s Day this coming Sunday, I am sharing something I wrote on 21 October 2007, just one month and six days after Cameron died. This piece appears in my book, Life Without Cameron, but I am sharing it here in honour of all women who privately grieve and weep on Mother’s Day— women who have lost children, women who have lost their mothers, and women who long to be mothers themselves.

May we support and uphold these women—in our thoughts, in our words, and in our prayers.

What do I see?

When I look in the mirror, what do I see? 

I see grief, and I see healing.

I see sadness, and I see hope.

I see suffering, and I see perseverance.

I see tears, and I see relief.

I see the pain of loss. 

I see the comfort of others.

I see a mother mourning for her son.

I see a daughter loved by her parents.

I see a woman’s reliance on her husband.

I see a wife cherished by her spouse.

I see innocence lost.

I see maturity and perspective gained.

I see the shattering of expectations and plans.

I see the birth of new plans and new hopes.

I see human weakness.

I see the strength of God.

I see a sinner, selfish and rebellious.

I see a child, loved and saved by God.

I see a life that is transient and passing.

I see an eternity that awaits.

I see the inevitability of death.

I see the reality of heaven.

I see Cameron.

I see me.